Humour

Some excuses and illogical statements; we have heard them all!

I can actually drive but I just can’t pass my test!

I would have passed the test if the examiner had not grabbed the wheel!

I know I cannot drive safely yet. But I would like to take the test to see if I can pass!

I have been learning now for 3 years or so in a manual geared car and find controlling and changing the gears properly very difficult. I would like to start in an automatic geared car. However, my husband has said that this type of car is for people who have an impairment or weakness in their driving ability and I should not even consider doing this because a manual geared car is best and it’s the British way!

I have just failed my test for the forth time with another company. I failed because I tried to go through a red light. However, I really couldn’t stop for the red light because I was going too fast! Can I appeal against the examiners decision?

Do you have real cars for learning in?

Thank you for booking me on to the residential driving course at short notice. I am sorry I will have to cancel the booking now because my father has said I cannot go on one of those courses until I can drive safely!

I have been driving in the States for 16 years and never had an accident until I came back to England; you all drive on the wrong side of the road! I would like to take one of your courses please to get a British license. I am out of hospital during February so can we make it sometime around then?

I am sorry about not stopping at the red traffic light just then. You see when I went for the brake pedal I found it had moved and the other pedal that was in it’s place just went right down to the floor!

I failed my test last time on speeding and controlling the vehicle safely. The speed limit was 50mph. I went round a bend at the 50mph it said and the car started to go over the other side of the road because it was going too fast. Will I get another free test with DSA if I can prove the speed limit is not safe there!

When a learner driver student went for the test in their own vehicle recently, she said to the examiner: “Can we go round the test route quickly please because I am low on fuel and I want to get to the petrol station immediately after the test before I run out of fuel”!

Can I cum to a rezidenshal driving to corsa as soon as possabley thank u as I need to lern to drive very very fast now has my husband has just got ban for drincking an driving to fast an speeding wile us wer going to holedays Plees u thanks an soon hopfuly ….!

Our son has been driving tractors around our farm now for 15 years (he is now 24). He would like a driving licence for a car as soon as possible please. Because he has had so much experience we have already booked him a driving test appointment for Thursday this week. We therefore wonder if you can just take him for a lesson beforehand to show him how to change gears, etc in a car!

This was some pre-prep’ in car tuition for the theory exam:
On asking how many feet does it take to stop the car if you are doing 50mph in normal dry conditions? The learner-student replied “one, no two I think”. One or two our instructor said being slightly bemused! Yes, two replied the learner. Your right foot for the brake and when you actually come to stopping you need to press the clutch in with your other!